Maybe I’m not the one who is insane.
So I know I said by Tuesday, but a bunch of things came up and I ended up re-doing a lot of the content. What I have here is a rough copy of the first page, purely to see if I like it. Obviously, I still need work with pacing but I’ll probably come back and trim a lot of the redundant or unneeded details down to save time.
For now, make fun of me😀
No, but really. Feedback is appreciated.
She opened her eyes and tried desperately to rub the frost off of her face and focus her blurred vision from the cold steel floor beneath her. The young woman lie there, disoriented and shivering. She looked back to the other side of the room to make out the faint image of a cryo-pod which had ejected her. Her ears were ringing, teeth clicking and bones shaking. They weren’t supposed to do this, to linger like this. The young lieutenant knew this all too well. This wasn’t the first time she’d come from a cold sleep, but never like this. She crawled along the floor and pressed her back against a wall. The room was still blurry and her legs were still asleep. “Doctor.” She called out. The sound of her own words didn’t reach her ears. “Captain? Anyone? I need some help in here.” No one was around to answer…but she wouldn’t be able to hear them even if they were. The blurred mess ahead of her seemed still. A dark lit mess of gray and blue. She sighed to herself and thought aloud, “Okay, Shannon. Think…what happened?” Her hands placed against her head and eyes shut she began to think. To think of the space station she was located on. Of the recruits she commanded, and of the one who shot her nearly to death during training. He was most likely re-assigned and stuck cleaning satellite bits around earth by now, but she’d have preferred to think that he was ejected from the airlock instead. Fantasized about it a little too, even.
With a long sigh, Shannon shook her head and reached down her body to check for damage. She was mostly wrapped in bandages with the exception of the “modesty clothing”, they liked to call it. It was really just underclothes, but let the Star Force name it and it has to be special. Coming from a group named the Star Force, there wasn’t much to expect. The bandages weren’t covering any injuries at this point and were only wet from the layer of frost that was now melting around her stomach and leg. It seems she wasn’t cold from the cryo tube as much anymore, but cold from the lack of anything to warm her. Senses were slowly coming back to her and she was able to make out shapes in front of her. With that came the realization that she was alone in the room. More importantly that the room was torn to shreds. Tables were flipped upside down and other medical equipment was scattered about on the floor or penetrated deep into the other Cryo-pods in the room. It was only by luck that she hadn’t been as unlucky as whomever was in the other corner of the room.
Shannon pressed a hand on her leg and struggled to stand. Balancing herself on the table at her back, also flipped over, to bring herself upright. The room was silent as was the room next to it. “I kind of hope that brat killed me and this is some sort of punishment.” she said to herself, again. The cryo-pod she had come from was still open. Spewing frosty air into the room and sparks on the floor from the cables above it every now and again.
“Can’t be hell if I’m this cold, I suppose.”
She reached down and took hold of the bandages. Ripping them off and tossing them to the other side of the room and pressed off sending herself stumbling to the open pod. Her eyes met a frosted over suit with her name over the breastplate. “LT. Shannon” it read. The suit itself was a dark black with an orange outline along the sides and finger tips. Another genius design by the Star Force. This one, however, kind of worked. It served its purposes and stood out well enough on the ship’s silver interior. The Lieutenant pressed one hand against the pods door and another on the collar of the suit and yanked. Freeing it from its icy closet beside the bed. She quickly gazed the suit over with a frown. This wasn’t going to be comfortable. The suit’s temperature control wouldn’t work without a helmet to complete it, and the one inside was missing. The helmet worked like a monitor of sort. Transferring the conditions of the host to the suit’s sensors. Without it, it just acted like an expensive suit of armor.
Reluctantly, she slid into the suit, buckling it from the waist and fitting on the freezing gloves. It wasn’t so much the freezing interior against her skin, but the stiff feel of being frozen whenever she tried to walk. The Lieutenant wasn’t a stranger to arctic climates and this was nothing new, even if she would have preferred the suit to be on fire right about now….
Yesterday, I spoke with another writer who gave me a few encouraging words on this project after having felt a bit in over my head what with all the research and studying. He told me a few things I never would have otherwise thought about, even though they sound pretty simple. The big one for me was “Who is your target audience?” And while I have THOUGHT of people being interested in this story, i never really put them in a group or gave them a face. I’m sure once i get the foundation laid out better, that will come but it, at the very least, help with the character planning.
So, here’s the update. I have decided on a character type for our heroine. While her finer details have yet to be ironed out, She, at the very least, has a center. I’ve decided to do a mixture of option A and B for those of you who have read my previous post, if not it can be found here.
While this is all fine and dandy, it still has a lot of planning before I’m ready to post anything big on that.
(updated) Goals for 5/4/14
- Continue researching sentence structure and story pacing
- Further research setting and other details to do with the opening to get the first few pages available for preview
I’ve also been looking at Silvia’s character and I don’t believe her original design would fit in this. Originally, she was designed as a towering robotic suit of armor (or a mech if anyone is familiar with this term.) but her scale would either play her as a weight and overshadow the survival element or the scale of the setting would have to be much, much, bigger. As such I’ve decided that instead of a massive bulky “suit of armor” per se. Perhaps she could retain her ability as AI but on a smaller scale. Like just the helmet of a body suit. Or the AI of the damaged space station. It’s still just story planning at this point, but like my oh, so helpful acquaintance has informed me… A smaller scale might be easier for the audience to understand. Why go through the trouble of having to explain a complex system of a concept that many people won’t be able to grasp where as this updated version would better suit the story?
Again, it’s all just planning at this point. I probably won’t make a post for a few days regarding this as my goal is to have a page or two out at LEAST by Tuesday to see how it sounds on paper. If I like the idea, and whoever is silently reading this likes the idea, then the story planning will probably take a bit more priority. Otherwise, it’s back to re-arranging and re thinking things.
Anyway. That’s all for now. Just wanted to get some ideas and thoughts down before they were lost.🙂 Happy Sunday, people!
This is an idea I have come across quite a few times, but this idea is slowly developing day by day since I have decided, that yes. I am going to write a book!
While showering and winding down, I came across many ideas for some of the characters that would play in the story. As for the book, the progress I have is supplies and a location for my story board. I’m going to post my progress on this board as I go along.
Checklist for week of 5/2/014
- Discover and address issues in current writing form
- Research sentence structure and story pacing
- Develop characters and understand how the story would work as a book
But on to the meat and gravy of this blog post! The character ideas. The story in mind is about a lone heroine trapped on a damaged space station, suddenly awakened to the fright of our second character; an un-maintained monster left to grow and mutate for years. This beast is meant to play an important role in the story, not just as a threat, but as a building tool for our heroine. The third and possible final character is Silvia. A robotic suit, or more accurately the AI inside the suit. While, also damaged, played an important role as the only sort of positive interaction to our heroine, allowing her many functions in the shuttle. I’ll get deeper into this in the future. But i have a few ideas for the characters and I’m not quite sure which to run with. I really just need a place to write them down aside from my journal, so…
Option A: A middle aged (late 30s, early 40s) mother whose spouse/partner sacrificed themselves in order for her to live for their daughter, whom is lost somewhere in (or out) of the station. This version of our character was a mechanic before the incident and the suit acts more as a tool than a guardian.
Option B: A no-one-important young rebel who awakens from an otherwise extended sleep to find her memories have faded as a side effect from the stasis. She awakens with only a locket of another woman close to her side. Scared, and otherwise alone, her reason for survival is simply finding another person or perhaps that person in the picture. Silvia acts more as pair of legs. While this version cannot fully operate the suit, she’s not helpless and dumb. She learns to use Silvia as a means to survive, though difficult at times.
Option C: A child or young teen separated from her parents in a pod trapped behind Silvia. This version plays as a more nimble version of both A and C. Although she is fairly skilled with tools and computers, she is still young and there’s a lot she doesn’t know about being on her own. Silvia acts more as a parent in this version.
I wanted my main character to be a female for several reasons. The one I’ll touch on is that this story is set in the future. As of right now, we, as a nation, are working hard to find equality for female rights. What better way to show that females can be powerful equals than to have a story where it’s already happened?
If I don’t find it easier to jot down character ideas in my journal, I’ll keep posting here ^_^
Wish me luck!
The other day I was talking to a co-worker and she explained to me an experience about an older guy who approached her and invited her for a drink and some burgers. She turned him down and proceeded to tell me how it was the most uncomfortable experience she’s ever had at the store. About how his act of asking her out was just so creepy. This wasn’t the first time someone had come to me with something like this. I used to hear it all the time in high school. “Eww, Tommy asked me out. He’s so creepy.” With the reasoning being, “Well, I’m not interested”
The logic behind that baffles me. But I had it happen to me the first time a few months ago. There’s this customer who would drop by every Sunday. Petite with curly brown hair about 5’1″. Adorable, really. After weeks of seeing her and exchanging smiles, I brought up the courage to speak to her, having just missed her weeks before. I stopped her in the aisle and asked her her name. Told her I thought she was cute and asked her number. Going into this expecting to be shot down instantly, things were going well. She was blushing and falling all over her words. It was the cutest thing. But then it came, she stopped and asked me how old I was and said, “Sorry. You’re too young for me.” “It’s alright. Thanks for talking to me. I’ll see you around.” i said and carried on about my business. Just as nervous as she was, I left with no bad blood.
But then I started to notice…she stopped showing up at the store. I believe I saw her once and she went out of her way to avoid me. And has done such ever since! Now, I feel bad. I haven’t asked her why she doesn’t come by anymore because well, she doesn’t talk to me. But it’s not like I’m going to keep asking. But when my co-worker came to me explaining how creepy it was to be asked out and not be interested, I had to think. “Gee, is that why? Does she think I’m creepy?”
Now I just wonder if that’s just what girls do. That it wasn’t just flawed highschool logic. That if they aren’t interested, then you’re creepy for not knowing.
And you know what? I feel creepy now!
I would like to discuss a thing that I like to call, “keyboard courage”. Now, what it is is that thing that enables friends, family, and strangers alike to sentence people to DEATH on Facebook photos for things they dislike. It’s that ability to go that one step beyond. To not only damn a person, but their entire bloodline and remain smug about it afterwards. That the fear of retaliation brings out this primal aggressiveness that is, honestly quite frightening. To say whatever you want to someone and “lol internet” being the viable excuse.
Now, we’ve all seen it. Perhaps it was today, or a week ago. But it has me wondering if it’s just because you’ll probably never see that person again in life or if that’s how people would truly be if they didn’t have that fear of danger upon doing such things. These same people damning people to the worst torture possible for having an opinion they disagree with would never speak such words in person.
Makes the internet seem like a horrible place, yeah? But then I noticed something else. That same courage that gives people the ability to becomes sociopaths also encourages the quiet to speak up. It gives the awkward and silent the courage to come out of their shell. Those brilliant minds who keep to themselves and shuffle about in your work place or classroom, they are superstars online. It was told to me by a friend that they wanted to be more like they were online in person. And so, they’d keep at it. Bringing that courage back with them when they logged off. Little by little, they stood a little taller. A little bolder. A little happier.
While I’ve grown numb to the E-bullying and the wild swinging executioners, it’s these moments that keep me in online communities. To see someone overcome their challenges because they found their courage. Be it another person or sheer willpower. These people need a voice, and I feel like Keyboard Courage can give it to them.
So, I ask you. Next time you see a person shuffling about. Head hung low and keeping quiet. Ask him or her their username. Give them that little push to happiness.
This new generation of kids and perhaps the one after that…things will soon be forgotten unless we, now, preserve and re-introduce them to the world! It’s really an exciting thought, getting older. Knowing that movies, shows, and things that we use now or used growing up will not only be outdated, but they may disappear entirely. Stuff that was before our time that we had held on to, but never bothered to reformat for future generations. Movies in VHS for example. If they haven’t been converted to DVD now, who is to say it will even be possible in 20 or 30 years?
Thinking about the stuff we used 10 years ago will be “antiques” in the next 20 to 30 years and we get to experience that! I, myself am probably most excited about showing movies that have left strong memories to me now to my children or grandchildren. And maybe they’ll pass it on to their kids~
Imagine a generation of people who have never seen Pulp Fiction. Or the original Toy Story. People who have never heard a song from Third Eye Blind or TLC. This might seem silly now because these things are still reintroduced every now and again, but think about it. Your parents and grandparents have seen the original Disney movies or black&white television shows when they first came out. Lone Ranger was a thing for them on a regular basis. Reruns never existed…And yet, here we are…seeing commercials for “XX anniversary edition” of these films.
Think about the phone you have now. Picture it well..while the future might not hold the holographic ideas that older sci-fi has taught us would take over, your phone will be outdated very soon. And suppose you stumbled over it 20 years from now. Could you even imagine the scenario?
Despite getting older being a scary thing…I’m probably most excited about sharing the history that may be forgotten to many. No matter how bad we all might think the future looks, this aspect alone…makes it seem so much brighter.
Many of you have been in a grocery store, at checkout, and noticed the little plastic bar. The one that separates your stuff from their stuff. Just the other day, I had a bit of time to reflect on just how silly this is. I was in line, with a few items. Maybe 5 or so, and a lady was in front of me with a belt full of stuff. And I kind of wondered..how upset would she be if I just sat my stuff down on the belt without putting the bar down. She’d probably just scoff and slide the bar in the middle.
But let’s take it one step further. What freedom does that bar give me? Suppose I was carrying a 34 case of water and I just slammed it down as hard as possible. Would she be upset if the bar was there? What if my tollhouse crackers fell over the bar and rubbed against her bottle of lotion? Would her lotion then depreciate in value? Would her lotion no longer be lemon scented, but buttery cracker melody?
What if I got on the belt with my items? Or what if I just got on the belt and handed my items to the cashier from the other side of the counter? Suppose I put down 2 or three bars between my and her stuff. What freedoms does that allow me?
But then, promptly after, another guy came up behind me with a hand full of items. He looked as though he was struggling, but the lady in front of me had previously just refused to hand over the plastic bar. Not that I cared if it were there or not. But what if I reached over her items without bar already in place!? Am I violating her item’s right to privacy?
Sadly, I did not get to act out any of these ideas as by the time I had decided to run and get as many cases of water as I could carry, it was my turn to check out. Perhaps next time🙂
An introduction of what’s to come
Greetings. I am Grashi, the one and the only. After several days of looking at a blank screen I’ve decided that the best way to get the ball rolling is to start with an introduction of who I am, as opposed to diving right in right away. Not just of me, but of what this space exists for.
This blog shall be an outlet for the various inquiries, scenarios and ideas that I have thought of over the years, and shall in the future. An outlet to share as well as a base for creative discussion. From topics ranging from the usual of Media (Music, movies, books and games) to the not-so-usual (The inner workings of fictional establishments in realistic scenarios).
I am greatly excited to get this thing rolling and I shall update here regularly. But before I go, I would like to thank a special someone for the push in making this step out of my head. Saving my ideas from forever suffering the cruel fate of being forgotten.
So prepare yourselves! Your minds and bodies are in for quite a treat~